So if you have ever been to the Lakeway, TX area, you may have driven past the Lake Travis dam. It’s pretty massive and the bridge you drive over just beside it is easily a couple hundred feet tall. Everytime I drive out that way for work meetings I am amazed at how big it is. And the fact that it’s holding back so much water. If it were to crack even in the slightest, it would be bad news. As I look over on the other side of the bridge many of the houses are built high up on the hill clearly to avoid definite flooding in the event it were to ever break. I was brought back to this memory this past Sunday when our pastor was talking about Breakthrough.
We are starting 40 days of breakthrough with Antioch here in Waco, and I wanted to be able to document and share with you guys what I personally am believing for in this journey. Some of these things have been a long time coming so I’m really looking forward to the transformation that will take place. I’ll kind of go into a little back story behind each of these prayers in hopes that if you’re going through similar things that you would receive breakthrough as well.
- Breakthrough in my self-esteem, body image, diet mindset, whatever you call it. This one is the main event of this entire 40 days I’d say. It has been the biggest stronghold in my life. I can remember back to high school wanting to diet and lose weight (looking back I had nothing to lose) and yet being so obsessed with food that I would frequently binge on junk that wasn’t great for me. And then going through the journey with hormonal acne and trying to figure out the root cause of all that. And now, having been married nearly 2 years and being at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been. I am learning to be intentional and get to the root of the issue. Analyzing past hurts, triggers all the things. So believing for God to help me find joy in him so that I’m not as inclined to turn to food as a means of temporary enjoyment. There are so many facets to this that it honestly scares me a bit to begin doing the heart work but I know that God’s will is not for me to be struggling and dealing with a stronghold.
- Freedom from a lack mindset and awareness of the abundance of the Lord and his favor. Another one that I have to do some deep heart work to untie the knots tied by parents and society. This idea that you start from the bottom and have to work your butt off to get what you want. Always needing others to meet your need, instead of looking for ways to bless and pour out into the lives of those around you. Not as many details in this specific prayer but I’m believing that my mind would begin to be renewed to see what God’s idea and plan for my life in all areas is.
- Breakthrough from fear revolving around motherhood, pregnancy, childbirth. This one, I would like to unpack a bit more, maybe in another post but I have been surrounded by several close friends that have unintentionally, I’m sure, painted the picture that motherhood is really hard and miserable. And of course, me being someone who longs to avoid conflict, stress and pressure is not really wanting to pursue that. Even at all in this season. I know God may change my heart when the timing is right for us to start a family but I have had to discuss and work through a lot of questions with Matt about my current desires around starting a family. Partly the issue is increased because I watch many youtubers who are also going through pregnancy right now. And yes it’s intriguing and miraculous how our bodies are able to carry and birth and child but I’m more on the side of fear right now and just looking for a means of making sense of these emotions. Also a release of control, because I cannot be responsible for what that child is like, their health or who they grow up to be. I can only rely on the grace of God to lead us as we lead them. But man that is a lot of pressure, and like I said, I try to avoid uncomfortable situations.
My mentor suggested that I ask the Lord what verse he would like me to stand on for breakthrough in this season. This is the one I stumbled upon one day as I was doing a devotional.
Psalm 37:2 TPT
“ Lord, you are my secret hiding place, protecting me from these troubles, surrounding me with songs of gladness! Your joyous shouts of rescue release my breakthrough.”
As I was reading over that on my little index card the other day, I had this beautiful picture come to mind. I was in a prison cell, one without a lock on it, and I could hear Jesus running through the halls toward my cell shouting his promises of victory and rescue over me! Now imagine this, to you as you read that, you may have pictured him skipping with joy and excitement. For me, it was more of a run of urgency towards my cell to rescue me! I was taken aback by the love of Christ to give me that beautiful picture. Even in the moments when we feel hopeless or like we deserve to be in the cell, we are being reminded of our eternal freedom every single day! No need to walk back into that cell out of obligation, guilt or shame.
I believe this combined breakthrough of everyone involved will result in an effect even greater than if the Lake Travis Dam were to break. The rivers of living water to flood out of our hearts impacting everyone around us. Pointing to Christ!
Here’s to the start of something beautiful about to be unfolded. Another chapter in my story, a story for His glory.
I love resources, especially verses and music. Here is my current worship playlist for this breakthrough season.
Rhythms of Grace- Hillsong UNITED
Seasons-Live Hillsong Worship
Good & Loved (feat. Steffany Gretzinger)-Travis Greene
Nothing Else- Cody Carnes
Sails- Pat Barrett, Amanda Cook, Steffany Gretzinger
Way Maker- Leeland
Getting There- Steffany Gretzinger
Rescue- Lauren Daigle
Breakthrough- Red Rocks Worship